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DECEMBER 2023 NEWSLETTER




MANY THANKS TO ALL OUR WONDERFUL VOLUNTEERS

WE COULDN’T DO THIS WITHOUT YOU


2023 is almost behind us and 2024 promises new adventures for us all as we move forward with our lives. COVID is still a thing but not the monster it was a couple of years ago and our club has rebounded well and faces the future with bright hopes.

Our sold-out Christmas Dinner is December 6, and our doors will open at 5:30pm with dinner being served around 6pm. Bring your tickets so they can be put in for the door prize draws. We will dine on roast beef and trimmings complete with dessert and punch, and wine will be available for purchase for $5/glass. Please don’t forget to bring your plates and cutlery. Blackbird Duo will provide music for dancing after dinner.


There is no Community Links presentation this month.


Ken & Friends on December 16, will be playing Christmas music for our dancing enjoyment.


Travel this month is to the Grande Theatre in Calgary to see ‘May We All’ a country music extravaganza this Sunday, December 3. The bus will be leaving the club at 1pm and returning around 6pm. Please be early to sign the travel waiver before boarding the bus, and to pay Jean if you have not done so yet.


The Tales to Tell Craft & Bake sale held at the club this past Sunday, November 26, was a huge success and garnered about $2,600 for this organization. A huge thank you to the club members who contributed baking for this sale.


A reminder about our AGM coming January 17, 2024, and that we will need members to step up to fill the Board positions that will become vacant. If you are interested in any position, please contact Myrtle Brewster at 587.971.0937 or vicepresident@airdrieover50club.com


I heard from Fred Gillis about our ‘Fun for Fans’ horse for next summer and he has assigned us the month of August, so we will need to have a good presence at Century Downs when our horse is racing. He donates about $1,000 to our club every year through his ‘Fun for Fans’ initiative.


Phyllis has cancelled her Friday morning art classes due to poor attendance, but her Wednesday classes are full and running until the end of the month. December 6 & 13 is an acrylic Christmas winter scene class, December 20 is finger food potluck and Christmas decorations, and December 27 is saved for finishing all unfinished projects. These classes are NOT drop-in sessions. I will have more information for January as I get I from Phyllis.


It will be up to each individual activity leader to decide which days they want to cancel their activity over the holiday season.


JOKES & SUCH:

An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening at church service when she was startled ty an intruder. As she caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables, she yelled, ‘STOP! ACTS 2:38!.” (Repent and be baptized, in the name of the Lord, so that your sins may be forgiven). The burglar stopped in his tracks. The woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done. As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar ”Why did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell scripture at you.” “SCRIPTURE?” replied the burglar, “She said she had an AXE and TWO 38’s!”


The church held a “Marriage Seminar” and the Priest asked Luigi, as his 50th wedding anniversary approached, to share some insight into how he managed to stay married to the same woman all these years. Luigi replied to his audience, “Well, I tried to treat her well and spend money on her. But the best thing I did was take her to Italy for our 20th anniversary.” The Priest said “Luigi, you are an inspiration to all husbands here today. Please tell the audience what you plan for your wife and your 50th anniversary.” Luigi proudly replied “I’m gonna go and get her.”


Words of wisdom from Maxine: Instead of the ‘John’ I call my bathroom the ‘Jim’! That way it sounds better when I say I go to the ‘Jim’ first thing every morning!!!


A woman on the phone to her friend; I feel my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor’s permission to join a fitness club and start exercising … I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.


Still trying to get my head around the fact that ‘Take Out’ can mean food, dating, or murder.


Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers. If you do find one, what’s your plan?


The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

You know you’re over 50 when you have ‘upstairs ibuprofen’ and ‘downstairs ibuprofen’.

How did doctors come to the conclusion that exercise prolongs life, when the rabbit is always jumping but only lives for around two years, and … the turtle that doesn’t exercise at all, lives over 200 years. So, rest, chill, eat, drink, and enjoy life!


If only vegetables smelled as good as bacon.


Anyone who says their wedding was the best day of their life has clearly never had two candy bars fall down at once from a vending machine.


I woke up this morning determined to drink less, eat right, and exercise. But that was four hours ago when I was younger and full of hope.


The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have begun asking humans to prove they aren’t a robot.


A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with a frying pan. He asks, “What was that for?” She says, “I found a piece of paper in your pocket with ‘Berry Sue’ written on it.” He says, “Jeez honey, remember last week when I went to the track? ‘Betty Sue’ was the name of the horse I went there to be on.” She shrugs and walks away. Three days later he’s reading his paper when she walks up behind him and smacks him on the back off the head again with the frying pan. He asks, “What was that for?” She answers, “Your horse called.”


“We were burying some mother-in-law or other, and the people applauded so much as we lowered her into the ground, that we had to do it again and again, eight times over.”


I’m not much on seizing the day. I just kind of poke it with a stick.


I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head.


Losing weight doesn’t seem to be working for me, so from now on I’m going to concentrate on getting taller.


I saw a guy at Starbucks today. No iPhone, no tablet, no laptop. He just sat there drinking coffee. Like a psychopath.


Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.

When this quarantine is over, let’s not tell some people.


Threw out my back sleeping and tweaked my neck sneezing so I’m probably just one strong fart away from complete paralysis.


When I see lovers’ names carved into a tree I don’t think it’s cute, I just think it’s strange how many people take a knife on a date


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