JANUARY 2024 NEWSLETTER – AIRDRIE OVER 50 CLUB
HAPPY NEW YEAR AND MAY 2024 BE THE BEST EVER FOR US ALL
Our New Years Eve game night was enjoyed by the folks who attended. The food was plentiful and delicious, and the company and games made the evening a great success. The weather has been beautiful lately, and even though we did not have a White Christmas it was a much safer driving Christmas; therefore, I am crossing my fingers for a continuation of weather like this for the rest of the season.
A new endeavor for our club will be the Bingo games commencing on Sunday, January 7, and running every Sunday afterwards. Club doors will open at 11:45am and game play will begin at 1pm. There is a poster with more information included with this newsletter.
There is no Community Links presentation this month.
Our Travel Director is looking into a trip to Stage West sometime in January so keep posted for further information as it comes in.
Our AGM is happening on January 17, and we are in need of Board members to ensure the continued operation of our club, so I hope to see many of you at the meeting.
Phyllis is offering a draw and paint acrylic class called ‘Winter Red Cardinal’ for the entire month of February starting Wednesday the 7th. The cost will be $35/person and includes your supplies. See the signup sheet on the bulletin board at the club or call her at 406.877.3894. These classes start at 9am and usually go until 11:30am.
JOKES & SUCH:
One minute you’re young and fun. And the next you’re turning down the stereo in your car to see better.
Drunk people, children and leggings always tell the truth.
1998 – Don’t get in a car with strangers
2008 – Don’t meet people from the internet alone
2019 – UBER – Order yourself a stranger from the internet to get into a car with alone.
Sorry I’m late. I got here as soon as I wanted to.
When I ask for directions, please don’t use words like “East.”
People giving directions like ‘then head south.’ OK Lewis & Clark, do I go towards Burger King or turn at Sonic.
The moment you flex your foot wrong, and it cramps…you think ‘This is it. This is how it ends.’
Patient: “Doctor, you have to help me, I think I can see the future.” Doctor: “When did it start?” Patient: “Next Friday.”
I just saw a grandpa help a youngster who was staring into his phone, to cross the street.
What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? They both have the same middle name.
Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman – already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet – who insisted he didn’t need my help to leave the hospital. After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator. On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him. “I don’t know,” he said. “She’s still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.”
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple’s house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, “Last night we went out to a new restaurant, and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.” The other man said, “What is the name of the restaurant?” The first man thought and thought and finally said, “What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know … the one that’s red and has thorns.” “Do you mean a rose?” replied the other man. “Yes, that’s the one,” said the first man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, “Rose, what’s the name of that restaurant we went to last night?"
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. ‘Careful,’ he said, ‘CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You’re cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They’re going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you’re cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY! Have you LOST your mind? Don’t forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!’ The wife stared at him. ‘What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don’t know how to fry a couple of eggs?’ The husband calmly replied, ‘I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I’m driving.’
Two senior women were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning. Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel’s ear and she said, “Mabel, did you know you’ve got a suppository in your left ear?” Mabel answered, “I have a suppository?” She pulled it out and stared at it. Then she said, “Ethel, I’m glad you saw this thing. Now I think I know where my hearing aid it.”
I called the Incontinence Hotline … They asked, “Can you hold please?”
I’m not hard of hearing … I’ve just heard enough.
You know you’re getting old when friends with benefits mean someone who can drive at night.
Last night the internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.
Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say CLOSE ENOUGH.
Some of my friends exercise every day. Meanwhile, I am watching a show I don’t like because the remote fell on the floor.
Now that COVID has everyone washing their hands correctly … next week … TURN SIGNALS.
After watching how some people wore their masks, I understand why contraception fails.
My idea of a Super Bowl is a toilet that cleans itself.
AGLC LICENSED COMMUNITY BINGO
AT THE AIRDRIE OVER 50 CLUB
101 - 275 JENSEN DRIVE NE, AIRDRIE
OPEN TO EVERYONE OVER 18 AND LIMITED TO 100 PLAYERS ON A FIRST COME BASIS
STARTING JANUARY 7, 2024, AND RUNNING EVERY SUNDAY
!!!CASH ONLY AND NO ALCOHOL ALLOWED!!!
PLAYERS MUST PURCHASE A MINIMUM OF ONE 3UP REGULAR GAMES. A RECEIPT WILL BE GIVEN WITH PURCHASE OF INITIAL CARDS
DOORS OPEN AT 11:45am, BINGO PLAY STARTS AT 1pm
REGULAR GAME SALES CLOSE AT 12:45PM
SPECIAL GAME SALES CLOSE 15-20 MINUTES PRIOR TO THE START OF EACH SPECIAL GAME