NOVEMBER NEWSLETTER

NOVEMBER 2023 NEWSLETTER – AIRDRIE OVER 50 CLUB

GENDERAL MEETING NOVEMBER 15, AT 7PM

Remembrance Day is just around the corner and another year is almost gone, again! Boy, my time brakes sure aren’t working. Of course, like fine wine, we keep getting better I know, but I really wish my body would play along with that sentiment.

The Community Links presentation this Wednesday, November 1, at 1:30 is being given by our local RCMP office and is on scamming. This is something we can all fall victim to as the Scammers have become very sophisticated in their approach to people and especially seniors. I urge you to attend this event at the club.

There is no off-site travel arranged for November, but Jean is looking at tentative outings for December. More information will be sent out as she gets confirmation.

The Halloween Howl this past Saturday evening was well attended and from what I have heard it was really enjoyed by those who went. The food was great, so was the music, and much dancing was done by those who went. The door prizes were well received, so thank you to those who donated them. If anyone took pictures at the Howl, perhaps you could forward them to me at my club email, and I can post them online.

Our Annual Christmas Dinner is on December 6, and tickets are available from members of the Board. You can also purchase them on our website. The cost is $25/member and $35/non-member and includes a Beef dinner with trimmings, dessert and music by Blackbird Duo for dancing. We ask that you bring your own dishes and cutlery, so the cleanup won’t take too long. There will be wine available for $5/glass. We would like door prizes for our Christmas Dinner so if anyone has anything they could contribute/suggest, please talk to a Board member, or email me secretary@airdrieover50club.com

Board Positions: Please keep in mind our AGM in January and the fact that our Executive is in a position to step down, as well as a number of other positions that will need to be filled in January for our club to continue. Please contact Myrtle Brewster at vicepresident@airdrieover50club.com or (587.971.0937) about any of these positions.

Painting/Craft Schedule: Wednesday Classes

November 1 - Finish the Wildflower Impasto and Abstract painting with Phyllis

November 8 - Resin mandala project.

November 15 – Playing Card Holders

November 22 – Decorate Resin Christmas Ornaments

November 29 & December 6 & 13 – Acrylic Christmas Winter Scene

December 20 – Finger food Potluck & Christmas Decorations

December 27 – Finish all unfinished projects

Friday Classes

November 3 – Finish Wildflower Impasto and Abstract painting

November 10 – Mandala on terracotta trays

November 17 – Decorate Resin Christmas ornaments

November 24 Lynda will run a Polymer clay Christmas Ornament session. Please see the signup sheet at the club for details.

December 1 – Winter Christmas acrylic painting

December 8 & 15 – Winter Christmas Eve acrylic painting

December 22 – Finger food potluck & clear Christmas Ornament decorating

December 29 – Finish any unfinished projects from last 3 months

Jokes & Such

A truck driver phones his boss: “Hey boss, my mirror is broken.” The boss says, “Well, just buy a new one and replace it then.” The truck driver answers. “I can’t. The truck is lying on it.”

I’m a really good multitasker. I can simultaneously ignore up to twenty major problems!

A Policeman stops and old guy in questionable condition at 1am. “What are you doing out so late, Sir?” asks the 0fficer. I’m going to a seminar on ‘The harmful effects of alcohol’,” replies the man. “Are you pulling my leg or something?!” says the officer, “Who would hold a seminar like that at this hour?!” The man sighs, ”My wife.”

Two older gentlemen, Fred and Sam, went to see a movie. Merely minutes into the movie, Sam heard Fred rustling around. It appeared that he was reaching under all the seats. “What on earth are you doing Fred.?” asked Sam. Fred indignantly responded, “I had a caramel in my mouth and it dropped out. I’m trying to find it!” Annoyed, Sam told him not to worry about it – they could get him another caramel later since that one was ruined by now. “But I’ve got to,” said Fred, exasperated. “My teeth are in it!”

An older man, living alone, decided he wanted to add a pet companion to his life. After thinking long and hard about the decision, he buys a parrot and brings it home. However, the parrot almost immediately starts insulting the older man and gets really rude. In a moment of frustration, the man picks up the parrot and tosses it into the freezer to teach it a lesson. But when the bird stops squawking, the man panics and opens the freezer door. The parrot walks out, looks up at the man, and says, “I apologize for offending you, and I humbly ask your forgiveness.” The man replies, “Well, thank you. I forgive you, and I’m sorry too.” The parrot then says, “If you don’t mind my asking … what did the chicken do?”

God grant me the Senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the Good Fortune to run into the ones I do, and the Eyesight to tell the difference.

The good thing about having a bad memory is that jokes can be funny more than once.

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird’s chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, “I’m sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away.” The distressed woman wailed, “Are you sure?”

“Yes, I am sure” Your duck is dead,” replied the vet.

“How can you be so sure?” she protested. “I mean you haven’t done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something.” The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck’s owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room. The vet looked at the woman and said, “I’m sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck.” The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck’s owner, still in shock, took the bill. “$150!” she cried, “$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!” The vet shrugged, “I’m sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it’s now $150.”